Written by Stephanie Williams
Breastfeeding is an amazing feeling. The close bond you feel as baby looks at you dreamingly. The way their cute little mouth searches for your boob like she’s starving. Even the tiger-kitty claws on your chest and the pulling of your hair.
My breastfeeding journey started with skin to skin, after my baby was born, then trying to squeeze milk from my breast into a syringe for 30min to achieve 2mls! My girl arrived two weeks early, and she had a weak suck, so my milk struggled to come in. Over the next day or so that increased to 5-7ml but still took me over 30min to achieve.
I was then able to start using the pump in hospital and was getting 10-17ml and they were topping my baby up with formula out of a cup! I was amazed she could drink out of a cup! Breastfeeding was hard to begin with because of all this. It’s certainly not as easy as putting baby to the breast. No one tells you this. I could barely sleep as would take ages to feed her via syringe and cup, then burp and change her nappy and then I still had to pump.
They say “fed is best” and that is doesn’t matter how you feed your baby, as long as they are fed and happy.
True, yes. But as a mother that wanted to breastfeed so badly, I really struggled with the fact that I wasn’t making enough milk for my little girl. She needed to be putting on more weight, and this was more important than me persisting with exclusive breastfeeding.
I had to start mix feeding using formula. I felt so guilty and sad that I wasn’t able to “provide” for my baby. I eventually got over it, and even enjoyed the mix feeding. Not having to sit every night, pumping and being disappointed with my little output. Boiling and sterilising the equipment. Formula is easier for sure. She still gets her heavenly eyes when she’s drinking her milk, and it’s so cute how she tries to hold her bottle.
In the end, fed is best and as long as baby is healthy and happy. She will still love you whether you give her a bottle or breast.