• The Mum Tribe

I'm Learning To Chill Out... Slowly

Written by Jess Raubenheimer-Free


I'm a control freak. I always have been, but I never really realised it until it was the day of my hen's night. I said to my fiancee that I felt nervous about the night to come and didn't know why. He bluntly said "Because you're a control freak and someone else has organised your night".


I was rather taken aback, and then I realised he was right. I'd never really thought about it before. My hen's night turned out to be the best night, I had so much fun with my girlfriends. I really had nothing to worry about at all.


So take this control freak and make her a mother.

Throw her into labour and childbirth, and observe. About halfway through my labour I started to let go. Started to relinquish my desire for control over the situation when I realised my baby was in control, not me. It didn't magically convert me to being an easygoing person though.


We're currently away on holiday with our now 6 month old daughter. Everything is different for her, except for us. Yesterday when we arrived I had a minor freak out, feeling guilty that we'd thrown her into this situation where she was unsure of everything.


Today I feel differently, I'm going to make an effort to go with the flow. She's an adaptable wee thing, and I need to be adaptable too.

She's adapted to me going back to work and her Daddy looking after her full time. More recently she's adapted to her beloved Daddy going back to work and now her Granny looking after her a few days a week. She can adapt to a weekend away, sleeping in a portacot and seeing amazing new things all day.


It's really more about me learning to let go. To give her the space to learn and grow and be adaptable in these situations. My goal is to share more about my journey to becoming a more easygoing mum, and ways I've discovered to do this.


Any other mamas out there who want to make a change to be a bit more easygoing? Share your tips with me!

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Dunedin, Otago, New Zealand