• The Mum Tribe

Motherhood Confessions from The Mum Tribe

Updated: Aug 16

Being a mother is hard. You have weird thoughts. Scary thoughts. Difficult thoughts. Sad thoughts. Happy thoughts. Sometimes I wonder if other mums go through this too. Turns out they do, and we all have our own confessions about motherhood. Thank you to all the brave mamas who contributed to this blog. We're all in this together.

I'm terrified of repeating my mother's mistakes

(Anonymous, mum of 2)

My mother is a full blown narcissist. Everything I've ever achieved in my life is, in her mind, a reflection on her. On how great she is as a mother. When I get a promotion at work it's because she worked oh so hard with me as a toddler. When I win a competition it's because she pushed me so hard in high school. The truth is, I'm terrified of repeating her mistakes with my daughters.

I'm so afraid of making them feel insignificant, I worry that I'm overcompensating. That I'm being overly involved in their lives. Because that's a pattern I'm used to. My mother has no boundaries. She doesn't understand that we are different people. That I am not just an extension of her.

My friends tell me the fact that I'm aware of it is enough to prevent me from repeating her mistakes. But I'll forever be watching myself, making sure I'm not continuing the cycle with my precious girls.

I can't imagine loving another child as much as I love my first born

(Jess, mum of 1)

I know, I know, your heart just expands and you do. But I can't imagine it. My daughter is my special girl. I adore her, and I don't want to take away her only-child-ness right now. When I think about getting pregnant again it fills me with dread, and not because I don't want to be pregnant.

I want her to spend these first years of her love flourishing, being loved and given the attention she deserves. If we have another baby, I won't be able to spend the time with her that I want to, or be as involved in her growth and development. And that thought makes me sad.

I hate breastfeeding

(Shelly, mum of 3)

When my youngest was born, I decided I would breastfeed him for as long as he wanted me to. With my eldest, we breastfed for only 6 weeks before I couldn't take it anymore. She had a terrible latch and as a first time mum I persevered through nipple pain and mastitis. With my second, we pretty much went straight to formula because I couldn't bear to try breastfeeding again.

Now with my wee boy, I'm trying. He's 3 months old and thriving, but I'm not. I hate breastfeeding. It's not painful or anything, I just find it a burden. And what's worse is that I feel obligated to do it. I can't even really explain what I hate about it, how silly is that? I have days where I wonder whether my mental health is worth this. And then I see that little face and get hit with the biggest mum guilt you can imagine, so I carry on.

I'm plagued by scary thoughts

(Anonymous, mum of 1)

I've googled so many times whether it's normal to have scary thoughts. Apparently it is, but it doesn't make it any easier. It can be a form of PND, but it's not easily diagnosed because it's hard to admit. People look at you funny if you say you imagine what it would sound like if you dropped your kid on the ground.

I adore my son, I would never do anything to hurt him. It comes from a place of anxiety. I'm terrified that I'll accidentally hurt him. That he'll fall off the bed, or slip out of my arms while I'm walking to the car. My brain cycles through worst case scenarios all day long. It's exhausting. I want it to stop, but I don't know how to make it stop.

I hate it when people give me advice

(Gwen, mum of 4)

Like seriously, I've had 4 kids. I know what I'm doing! Lay off the advice. I don't care if you let your kids cry it out, or if you think reusable nappies are the bees knees. I really don't give a flying f*ck about what you did with your kids and how magically it worked for you. Because you are not me, and your kids are not my kids.

Sorry, this is a bit more ranty than I intended lol. But seriously, why does everyone feel the need to give advice!? Let me mom. You do you, boo.

Thanks to all the lovely mums who contributed to this blog! What are some mum confessions you'd feel comfortable sharing?



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Dunedin, Otago, New Zealand